haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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