After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
