I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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