Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
