i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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