By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
should my penis look like a turkey
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
