Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
