tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
