And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
