so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
