careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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