Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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