You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
