well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
