okay pat passed out under dana's car
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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