dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
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