She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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