So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Houston, we have a squirter
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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