Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
