need another drink. this is the easiest way
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
