think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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