Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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