i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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