Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
