At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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