Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
