It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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