Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My vagina is very pro this idea
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
