i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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