walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
