I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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