Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
