What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
