there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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