I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
