someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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