so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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