you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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