i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize