he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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