I'm lost and stupid without you.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
