Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
