great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize