You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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