capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
