I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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