My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Text me some of your sweat
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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