she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
