I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
