HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
