He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
