it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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