He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
