Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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