how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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