I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
