We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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