So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
