I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
