I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
