Midget sex pt 2 tonight
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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