her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Quick, to the slutcave!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
