Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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