he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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